


The Bet

by madamebomb



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Bad Jokes, Bad Puns, F/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-27
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-23 15:09:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4881496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madamebomb/pseuds/madamebomb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Toph makes a bet with Sokka that he can't make her laugh.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Bet

“What’s your problem?” Toph asked around a mouthful of noodles, lifting her foot and poking Sokka’s flank with her big toe. She felt the mattress bounce beneath them as he squirmed on the bed from his sprawl at her feet. He caught her bare ankle, his strong, callused hand encircling her gently.

“Nothing,” he said shortly, but she could sense his desultory expression in the tone of his voice. She wiggled her foot and pushed out her bottom lip as she sank back against the pillows.

“I can hear you pouting, Princess Boomerang,” she said, taking another bite of food from the carton of noodles. “Ever since you got back with the food. Which, by the way… _yummy_ … Just what I needed after a long day of busting criminal ass. Come on, spill.”

She heard his chopsticks scraping the container as he sighed and then mumbled, “The lady at the noodle place said I wasn’t funny.”

Toph made a face and then stuffed noodles into her mouth. “Whaa wood schee sahy dat?”

“I don’t know! I made some joke about the noodles. It was  _hilarious_  and she just stared at me and told me I wasn’t funny. She obviously knows nothing about comedy.”

“Well what was the joke?”

He huffed out another long-suffering sigh and plopped his empty container onto the floor with a rattle of chopsticks. “Doesn’t matter.”

“Come on…” she cajoled him, poking him with her toe again. “Come on wittle Sokka…tell your wittle joke…”

“Fine! What do you call a fake noodle?” he asked, paused for a moment and then said in a falsely cheerful voice. “An  _IMPASTA!_ ”

Sokka laughed as Toph nodded and chewed on her noodles. His voice petered out into silence, which stretched between them for a long moment.

“You get it? Fake noodle? Impasta? Imposter?!” Sokka said as she nodded and set her container on the bedside table by feel.

“Yeah, I got it. It’s just…” she pulled a face as she tried to think of a gentle way to put it. Sugarcoating wasn’t exactly her style though, so she went straight for the throat. “It’s not funny.”

“What?! That’s hilarious!”

“It’s dumb,” she said as Sokka’s weight shifted on the bed. “But that’s part of your charm. It’s  _cute_ that you think you’re funny.”

“I  _am_  funny!” he protested in a sulky voice, crawling up the bed toward her. “Lots of people think I’m funny.”

“Name one.”

“Uh… My friend Ping. You don’t know him.”

“Convenient,” she said, sticking her tongue out at him.

“HE EXISTS!” he said shrilly, his knees bumping her thighs as he straddled her legs.

“Suuuuuure he does,” she said, pursing her lips. Sokka bent down and landed a wet, smacking kiss to her lips, and then pulled back.

“You think I’m funny. You laugh at me all the time.”

“Keyword: at. I laugh  _at_ you, not with you,” she said, her hands smoothing up his bare torso. She loved the feel of his body, the muscle and bone, the heat of his blood playing beneath his skin, the scent of his sweat. She cupped his face and kissed the tip of his nose. “It’s a good thing you’re sexy.”

“I know I’m sexy. I bet I can make you laugh,” Sokka said between light, playful kisses.

“Can you?” She tugged him down over top of her, his hands smoothing up her sides and playing with the knot on her robe. He kissed her deeper, lingering with another playful nip. “Twenty Yuans says I won’t laugh. I bet I don’t even crack a smile.”

“You’re on,” he said, trailing his mouth down her neck as he laid her robe open. He buried his face against her breasts, groaning noisily as he rained kisses across her skin. His tongue flicked gently against her nipple and she bucked upward, seeking the heat of his mouth, but he pulled back. “What kind of a bee makes milk?”

“I don’t know,” she said flatly.

“Boobies!”

She groaned and shook her head. “Really? You’re going to lead out of the gate with that? You think I’m going to laugh at a  _boob joke_?”

“I’m just warming up,” he said darkly, pulling her nipple into his mouth. He pulled on it with a swirl of his tongue, making chills thrill through her skin at the suction. He pulled deeply, the tip of her nipple tingling, a gasp escaping her. When he released her with a soft, wet pop, he panted a little, nuzzling her as her fingers threaded through his loosened hair. “Okay, two leche nuts are sitting on a riverbank when a turd floats by. The turd says, ‘come on in, the water’s great!’ One leche nut turns to the other and says, ‘Do you believe this shit?’ HUH?! HUH?!”

“It’s moments like these that I find it hard to believe you’re a respected Councilman. And that I willingly have sex with you.”

“You _love_  having sex with me.”

“But I’ll never admit it in public,” she said airily. Sokka made a grunting noise in his throat and kissed the wicked smile from her lips. His tongue darted against hers and she drew it into her mouth as her hands smoothed down his chest and spread on his waist.

He reached down between them, pushing her thighs apart and drawing one leg up his hip. She freed her other leg and pulled him down over top of her as their tongues slowly rubbed together in little teasing eddies.

Sokka pulled back, his hands smoothing up her sides again. He pushed her breasts together and buried his face between them for one long moment, a soft moan in the back of his throat. Then he kissed his way down her flat stomach, drawing little shapes and raising goosebumps. His hair tickled and she fought a smile, biting down on her lips.

“Why is sex like math?” he mumbled against her stomach, his fingers hooking in the sides of her panties. He pulled them down as she shook her head. “You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray there’s no multiplying.”

“You proud of that one?” Toph said, lifting her eyebrows.  Sokka huffed against her stomach as his shoulder butted up beneath her thigh. His breath whispered across her skin as she felt his hand smooth down the satiny seam between her legs. He split her flesh and she sighed a little, her hips twitching with impatience.

“Why can’t you hear rabbiroos having sex? Because they have cotton balls.”

She groaned as Sokka’s tongue followed his fingers, flicking steadily against the bud of her clit. Her groan turned into a moan at the sensation, her fingers tightening in his hair as her hips lifted off of the bed. One of Sokka’s fingers slid inside of her, pressing with playful intent.

“A woman goes to see a healer and tells him that every time she sneezes, she has an orgasm. The healer asks her what she’s doing for it. She replies, ‘Sniffing pepper’.”

Her mouth screwed up as she bit down on the inside of her lip to keep from smiling. His finger worked in and out of her at a steady pace. He rolled his tongue against her clit, sending little shivers throughout her lower body.

“A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender sees that he has a steering wheel attached to his penis. The bartender says, ‘hey, there’s a steering wheel on your penis!’ and the pirate says, ‘Arrrr, and its driving me nuts!’”

She groaned again and put one hand over her face as Sokka chuckled against her wet flesh. His tongue teased her clit as he added a second finger. Her head dug back into the pillows as she gasped at the sensation. He laughed softly at her reaction and rolled her clit between his lips with a little suck.

His tongue trailed up her stomach and back to her mouth as his fingers dipped in and out of her.

“Is that all you got?” she challenged him, licking his lower lip as he pulled his finger out of her and pressed her hips flat against the bed.

“You want some more?” he said heatedly, his mouth hovering over hers. She felt him moving against her and as she moved her hand up his waist, she realized he was unlacing his pants. She helped him pull them down his hips and shimmy out of them, her palm sliding down his lower belly. He was at half-mast, and as her slid around his cock, it twitched. She withdrew her hand, licked her fingers and then grasped him again.

Sokka moaned, his hips rolling forward to fill her wet hand as she stroked him. He grasped her hips and tugged her down the bed so that her rear was against his knees. She lifted her hips toward him, guiding him to her opening.

“Why does the mushroom get invited all of the best parties?” Sokka asked, thrusting smoothly inside of her. Toph shuddered as he bent over her, coming to rest with his hips locked against hers. Her fingers dug into his flanks, thighs tightening on his hips. “Because he’s a fungi.”

His mouth attached to her neck, tongue licking up to her ear. Her hips twitched in place on the bed as Sokka ground against her in tiny little thrusts. “That feels so good…”

“Good enough to get a giggle out of you?” he teased, his hips drawing back and then plunging forward. Her body welcomed him, clenching tightly around his length.

“Never. Those twenty Yuans are  _mine_ ,” she said, kissing his mouth with a hard smack.

“I’ll make you laugh, Chief Bei Fong. Mark my words,” Sokka said, kissing her back with the same playful force. The kiss melted into a slower, deeper press of lips and tongue as their bodies slowly came together. He seemed in no rush, teasing her with a roll of his hips. His hands smoothed down her sides and back, tickling her in tiny ways.

“Mmmm…tell me another one…” she moaned through stinging lips as he buried his face against her neck again. His left hand molded her breast as his hips moved steadily against hers. Her whole body was turning to liquid as she lifted her legs and hooked her feet around his back. He thrust forward with more force, shocking a half-strangled scream of pleasure of her. She bit down on his shoulder and he growled a little.

“A naked man bursts into a psychiatrist’s office and demands a diagnosis. The psychiatrist says, ‘Well, clearly I can see your nuts.”

“That’s so stupid,” Toph moaned, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as he slid his arms around her trunk, lifting her. Their mouths frantically met again, as he sat back on his knees. Her legs slid around his waist as she draped across his lap, riding him with a snap of her hips.“Again…”

“Why didn’t the melons get married?” Sokka gasped as she bit down on her lip, his hands on her lower back. Her hips moved in tight figure-eights and little shocks of pleasure were tearing through her body. The feel of Sokka’s hands on her skin, goosebumps rising, made every nerve ending sing. She gasped as the wet friction increased to an almost unbearable level. “Because they cantaloupe!  _Hnnng_ ….Toph you look so fucking sexy right now…”

“Don’t stop…”

“Fucking you or telling jokes?”

“I don’t even care,” Toph moaned and kissed him. Sokka pulled her backward and they landed on the bed with her sprawled across him. She sat up, hands on his chest as she rode him. His hand smoothed down her stomach and she felt his thumb against her clit, pressing just enough to send shockwaves radiating throughout her pelvis. Her mouth fell open, brow furrowed with the need for release.

“A guy…a guy goes to his— _hnnggg_ —his healer and the healer says ‘you gotta stop masturbating’ and the guy— _yeah, right there_ —the guy says ‘why?’ and the healer says, ‘because I’m trying to examine you!’”

Sokka grasped her hips and rolled them over on the bed again. Her head and shoulders were hanging over the side of the bed, but Sokka didn’t seem to notice. His mouth was on her breasts again as he pulled out of her, readjusted and slid back inside with a hard, deep thrust that made her gasp. She dug her fingers in hair as his hips slammed into hers over and over, the motion pushing her over the edge of the bed inch by inch.

“Knock knock!”

“ _Ohhhh yessss_ … _yesss…yessssss…”_

“No, you’re supposed t-to say ‘Who’s there?’” he panted between each thrust.

“Sokka…” she started to say in warning, but he cut her off.

 “Knock knock!”

“Who’s there!?” she gasped, her head hanging painfully off the side of the bed, the world upside down. Her body couldn’t take much more. Everything was light and pleasure and skin. Her thighs clasped his hips as her body drew up tight around his, hips thrusting desperately upward for completion. She felt herself slipping and her nails dug into Sokka’s hips.

“I’m!”

“I’m who?”

_“I’m gonna come!”_

A laugh burst out of her as Sokka gave one last thrust, sending them both over the edge. Literally. Peals of laughter left her as Sokka gasped and they tumbled off the bed in a heap of limbs. She landed painfully on her back, with Sokka smushing her, their bodies disentangling.

Sokka let out a trembling breath, his body shuddering as she laughed so hard she started snorting. After a few moments Sokka moaned in pain. “Fuck. I…I came on the floor.”

“BWAHAHAAHAAAAA!”

“S’not funny. I think I broke my dick… Owww…”

That just made her laugh harder and she doubled up beneath him, tears squeezing from her eyes and streaming down her temples into her hair.

“That’s not funny!” Sokka protested shrilly as she cackled even harder, wiping at her sightless eyes. She attempted to stop, but every time she caught her breath, she burst into giggles again. Sokka rolled off of her and she sat up, slapping her thigh.

“You…ahahahaaa! You…you jizzed all over the…fuh-fuh-fuh-floor!” she doubled over again, her midsection aching as she laughed. “I am not cleaning that up!”

“You’re evil. You’re pure evil,” Sokka said in an awed voice.

“I was wrong. I was  _sooo_  wrong! You are one funny bastard!” she said as she caught her breath and wiped at her eyes again. A giggle rolled out of her and she lost it again, flopping onto her back as Sokka huffed in disgust and scooted out of the wet spot.

“It’s not funny.”

“You’re right. It’s freaking  _hilarious!_ ”

“Yeah well, you owe me twenty Yuans!” he said, crawling over top of her. He caught her hands and pinned her to the floor as she attempted to control her giggles. “I won. I got you to laugh. Pay up!”

Her laughter settled into a wide grin as her legs slid up his thighs. “Hmmm…I guess you earned it…”

She lifted up, and Sokka kissed her with that same playful pressure, letting go of her hands. She wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him for one long, sensual moment that ended abruptly when she snorted and laughed against his mouth. Sokka groaned and flopped onto his back beside her.

“I’m never going to hear the end of this.”

“Not likely.” She lifted her hand and her metal-bending uniform sailed across the room and into her palm. She fumbled for her money pouch and withdrew some money, tossing it to Sokka with a flick of her wrist. He made a grunting noise in his throat as she lay back down next to him, lifting her feet to prop them up on the side of the bed. “That was good though.”

“Meh. I’ve had better,” Sokka said, making her laugh again. She punched his arm and then put her head on his shoulder. Sokka kissed her forehead as they lay together for a few moments. Finally, he said, “Knock knock.”

“ _Oh brother…_  Who’s there?”

“Roll over.”

“…Roll over who?” she asked suspiciously.

“Roll over, I’m gonna put it in your butt,” Sokka said, grabbing her around the waist as she descended into giggles again, Sokka’s laughter vibrating through his chest. They rolled together on the floor, their lips meeting for another hot, hard kiss that melted into more.

Toph grinned against his lips. He was an idiot. But he was _her_  idiot.

_(end)_


End file.
